I woke up this morning...

...in a very weird mood. Without further ado lets begin what I think might be the first insightful thing I've written for months. I decided today that your whole character/persona can be judged on just one mistake. It doesn't matter what mistae it is, it's going to have a detramental effect on the way you're perceived by everybody else. Everyone makes loads of mistakes in their lifetime, so how do you determine which mistake you're being judged on? Let me try and explain without making it complicated. Your family for example, may judge you on a mistake you've made which might have affected them, however a friend may judge you on a different mistake because it's affected them directly. Sounds stupid to a lot of people but it makes sense to me.

Another thing that has been grating me for some time is people being obsessed with perfection. I can be a perfectionist at the best of times, and hate myself for doing it. But the people in the world who feel they have to be perfect in order to fit in, don't have any idea of their personailty. The thing is, everybody is good at something, even if it's the most ridiculous thing in the world, but about a third of the world's population haven't got any self-confidence. So they think they have to be perfect to be somebody, its definitely not true. Nobody's don't exist. Meaning everybody is a somebody.

From personal experience, I know a little bit about pain, and trying to make myself something I'm not. I know that I had no confidence, and still don't have as much as I should. I know that I've spent years hiding behind my fears, my anger and self-pity so I don't become exposed to any more dangers. But don't worry, I'm working on it, very slowly.

Pffft

Okay, this is a little rant. EMA, hasn't been paid into my account, which means I don't get to go to the gym at all this month. Pretty much sucks. And for those people saying, get off your arse and get a summer job, don't think I haven't tried. People won't employ me because I'm too young to sell alcohol/fags, or I'm about to turn 18 so wages will go up for me, so I'll be more expensive to employ. Those places that  have managed to apply for won't take me because I'm over-qualified. There are absolutely no jobs in Stone or Stafford, and I definitely don't want to do Hanley if I finish late. Not somewhere where I want walk home on my own from. So that EMA money was going to provide gym membership, now it isn't...

I probably sound like a spoilt little brat to the majority of people reading this, but you don't know much about me so how can you make that judgement? If you do know me, you will understand why I'm so pissed off with this situation.

Can anyone let me know how Toy Story 3 is? Not seen it yet, apparently its supposed to be awesome?

I'm off again, just needed that rant!

Camping and co

Ok, I admit, I'm a lousy blog writer! My mind runs away from me when I come say something, then don't bother. Anyway on to the good stuff. Camping was awesome to be fair. Had  really good laugh, met some weird drunk people at the portaloos :D. (They weren't so bad after all, the portaloos I mean.) Plus we were a 5 min walk from proper toilets just in case I wasn't loving them. A dirty bugger did pee all over the floor of one of them, ewwwww. The people I went with were absolutely amazing, most of them gay, but that made it a whole lot better! Journey didn't go badly either so I can't complain:)

I'm not a happy bunny when it comes to my drinking habits. (Non-alcohol) I'm apparently caffeine intolerant, meaning little caffeine, problem with that you ask? I love coffee, I mean I adore coffee, not just for the taste (decaf won't make a difference) for the caffeine kick it gives me. I've had to trade that for strawberry ribena, which is still awesome, but no replacement. 

School is officially over for the summer, well it has been since Thursday. Just anticipating my results now. Wish they didn't take so long to come out, just means I spend half of my break being nervous and chewing what's left of my nails, off. Really not sure how I've done, hopefully well, but lets see. 

Currently watching the Mask. Great film, one of my personal bests from Jim Carey. Ooo, made some cakes as too :D (I meant to say as too) with mars bar sauce on top of them. Wow they're going to be sweet. And I practiced Poi today. For those who don't know what poi is, youtube it. And I did a bit of Devil Stick, still trying to decide which is more difficult though. I'm not impressed with the other half, he ruined my white hat. I loved that hat, now its all stretched and too big for my big head. 

Well I'm buggering off, to chilllll :D Read again soon people.

Social stuff

I haven't blogged for a while just because I've been winding down from exams. I've been to a higher education thing today, which turned out pretty well. Gave me a lot of insight to what I want to do. But to put off school a bit, I'm going away this weekend. Camping to be more precise, at Shell Island which is in Wales. It ought to be good, but not sure whether I'll survive without proper toilets. But then again, portaloos are so much better than a hole nearby.

I actually went shopping last night for a few bits and bobs, that me and the boyfriend didn't even think about getting until now. I managed to get the wrong sleeping bag though :/ which was stupid of me. The whole point of getting two regulars was so we could put them together, me being a silly bugger go and pick up a mummy sleeping bag. I hate them, you feel like you've been wrapped up by a spider, waiting to eat you alive. Don't think I'll be getting drunk this weekend though, it'll make a change if I can remember what happens. Although it would be nice to forget the fact that it's a 3hour journey from where I live. Travel sickness is a big thing for me, in fact my whole personality snaps due to travel sickness.

I'm so glad this saves automatically for you, I just got carried away with the England match. WOOP we're through to final 16, but I'm not holding my breath. I know that sounds like bad home support, but it's not my fault. The way England has played so far has influenced my opinion on football and the world cup. Yes its nice to have all these nations gathering to be a part of a world wide sporting event, however, to be fair, and to not insult people, why would kicking a bag of air round a pitch ever interest the minds of a race that is so intelligent? I think its just the way we are though, even if it slightly frustrating to know that a football match could be more important than other things.

Also, new budget, not happy. Although I can say that we can't make the Tories look bad, I mean it's not their fault that they've had to do what they have. And before people sigh because of me sticking up for them, no I don't support Tories. I'm Lib Dem, purely for their more active beliefs in helping students, especially those like me who are going to have big honking debts by the end of my education. Can't wait for 20% VAT......I suppose we do need to let our economy recover though. The w*nker bankers should have more sense than to do what they did and they all need huge pay-cuts. Think of what their wages could go to.

Anyway, I'm to watch a film. Not sure what yet. Oh and try and catch up with my blog next week, I'll have my camping details!

The rain is so selfish, as is my front door

So today it's rained as usual for British weather. I'm there minding my own business when there's a knocking at my front door. I open it up, and there's no one there, I check round the side, there's no one there. When I get back to my front door, catastrophe has hit, ie. the door has shut.

Now to explain the concept of my front door. It's a security door. It might be unlocked but you can't open it from the outside without a key. Being I was the only one home, and my back door was locked you can start to understand why I was a bit buggered. I'm standing there in bare feet, a really thin top and leggings, in the pouring rain, staring longingly at the closed door.

So now I'm making my way to the back garden and seeing as I'm already soaked I sit down on the broken bench which I nearly fell off. After 20 minutes of think I'm screwed realise, "The kitchen window...is open." But there was a slight problem with that too, the kitchen window, quite small. (I'll try and upload a picture of it)  I may have a small waist size but my ass, slightly bigger!

Anyway after a bit of squeezing, I manage to fit through, but in the process I managed to put a foot mark on the window, step into a bowl of washing up, and face plant into a dirty frying pan. So the rain and front door ruined my calm relaxing day.

A final thought, if you have a security door, get a spare key and put it somewhere safe, but outside!!